An, ahem, small sampling of what is in the House version of the “Scheme-ulous Bill.”

• $335,000,000 million for STD Prevention
• $5,2000,000,000 billion to ACORN (Note: Michelle Malkin is also reporting that Bank of America has given ACORN $2,000,000 from TARP funds)
• $2,800,000,000 billion for expanding broadband access in rural and underserved communities
• $90,000,000 million to left-wing interest group Leadership Conference on Civil Rights (”LCCR”)
• $44,000,000 million for repairs at the Agriculture Department headquarters in Washington.
• $200,000,000 million to rehabilitate the National Mall.
• $360,000,000 million for new child care centers at military bases.
• $1,800,000,000 billion to repair National Park Service facilities.
• $276,000,000 million to update technology at the State Department.
• $600,000,000 million for General Services Administration to replace older vehicles with alternative fuel vehicles.
• $2,500,000,000 billion to upgrade low-income housing.
• $400,000,000 million for NASA scientists to conduct climate change research.
• $426,000,000 million to construct facilities at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
• $800,000,000 million to clean up Superfund sites.
• $6,700,000,000 billion to renovate and improve energy efficiency at federal buildings.
• $400,000,000 million to replace the Social Security Administration’s 30-year-old National Computer Center.

The rest of the list comes via American Thinker (some of this might be redundant, but you get the point):

Department Of Agriculture

• $44,000,000 – Agriculture Buildings and Facilities and Rental Payments
• $209,000,000 – Agricultural Research Service Buildings and Facilities
• $245,000,000 – Farm Service Agency Salaries and Expenses
• $350,000,000 – Natural Resources Conservation Service Watershed and Flood Prevention Operations
• $50,000,000 – Watershed Rehabilitation Program;
• $5,838,000,000 – Rural Development Programs, Rural Community Advancement Program;
• $22,129,000,000 – Rural Housing Service, Rural Housing Insurance Fund Program Account
• $2,825,000,000 – Rural Utilities Service, Distance Learning, Telemedicine, and Broadband Program
• $100,000,000 – Special Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women, Infants, and Children
• $150,000,000 – Emergency Food Assistance Program” (This includes grants for Puerto Rico and American Samoa)
• $300,000,000 – Administrative Expenses ($150,000,000 each in ‘09 & ‘10)
• $650,000,000 – Forest Service, Capital Improvement and Maintenance
• $840,000,000 – Wildland Fire Management

Department Of Commerce

• $250,000,000 – Economic Development Administration, Economic Development Assistance Program
• $1,000,000,000 – Bureau of the Census, Periodic Censuses and Programs (additional funding)
• $350,000,000 – National Telecommunications and Information Administration, Salaries and Expenses
• $2,825,000,000 – Wireless and Broadband Deployment Grant Programs
• $650,000,000 – Digital-To-Analog Converter Box Program
• $100,000,000 – National Institute of Standards and Technology Scientific and Technical Research and Services
• $100,000,000 – Industrial Technology Services
• $300,000,000 – Construction of Research Facilities
• $400,000,000 – National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, Operations, Research and Facilities
• $600,000,000 – Procurement, Acquisition and Construction (includes not less than $140,000,000 for “climate data modeling”)

Department Of Justice (DoJ)

• $3,000,000,000 – State and Local Law Enforcement Assistance
• $1,000,000,000 – Community Oriented Policing Services

National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA)

• $400,000,000 – Science (not less than $250,000,000 “shall be solely for accelerating the development of the tier 1 set of Earth science climate research missions)
• $150,000,000 – Aeronautics
• $50,000,000 – Cross Agency Support Programs (restoration and mitigation of NASA infrastructure and facilities damaged during 2008 disasters)

National Science Foundation

• $2,500,000,000 – Research and Related Activities
• $100,000,000 – Education and Human Resources
• $400,000,000 – Major Research Equipment and Facilities Construction

Department Of Defense

• $4,500,000,000 – Facility Infrastructure Investments
• $350,000,000 – Energy Research and Development
• $920,000,000 – Military Construction, Army
• $350,000,000 – Military Construction, Navy & Marine Corps
• $260,000,000 – Military Construction, Air Force
• $3,750,000,000 – Military Construction, Defense-Wide
• $140,000,000 – Military Construction, Army National Guard
• $70,000,000 – Military Construction, Air National Guard
• $100,000,000 – Military Construction, Army Reserve
• $30,000,000 – Military Construction, Navy Reserve
• $60,000,000 – Military Construction, Air Force Reserve
• $300,000,000 – Department of Defense Base Closure Account 1990

NOTE: Keep in mind the Obama Administration – at a time of war and terrorism – is proposing to cut defense spending by 10%.

Department Of Veterans Affairs (VA)

• $950,000,000 – Veterans Health Administration, Medical Facilities
• $50,000,000 – National Cemetery Administration

Energy And Water

• $2,000,000,000 – Army Corps of Engineers, Civil Construction
• $250,000,000 – Mississippi River and Tributaries
• $2,225,000,000 – Operation and Maintenance
• $25,000,000 – Regulatory Program

Department Of Energy

• $18,500,000,000 – Energy Efficiency and Renewable Energy
• $4,500,000,000 -; $1,000,000,000 – Advanced Battery Loan Guarantee Program
• $500,000,000 – Institutional Loan Guarantee Program
• $8,000,000,000 – Innovative Technology Loan Guarantee Program
• $2,400,000,000 – Fossil Energy
• $2,000,000,000 – Science (weird science?)

Environmental And Other Defense Activities

• $500,000,000 – Defense Environmental Cleanup

Borrowing Authorities

• $3,250,000,000 – Western Area Power Administration
• $3,250,000,000 – Bonneville Power Administration

General Services Administration

• $7,700,000,000 – Federal Buildings Fund
• $600,000,000 – Energy Efficient Federal Motor Vehicle Fleet Procurement (no mention of buying only American cars)

Small Business Administration

• $426,000,000 – Business Loans Program Account

Department Of Homeland Security

• $100,000,000 – U.S. Customs and Border Protection (non-intrusive detection technology at sea ports of entry)
• $150,000,000 – Repair and Construct Inspections Facilities (at land border points of entry)
• $500,000,000 – Aviation Security
• $150,000,000 – Coast Guard, (alteration of bridges)
• $200,000,000 – FEMA, Emergency Food & Shelter

Department Of The Interior

• $500,000,000 – Bureau of Reclamation, Water and Related Resources
• $325,000,000 – Bureau of Land Management, Construction (for priority road, bridge and trail repair or decommissioning)
• $300,000,000 – U.S. Fish and Wildlife Construction (for priority road and bridge replacement and repair)
• $1,700,000,000 – National Park Service Construction
• $200,000,000 – National Mall Revitalization Fund (half of that requires matching private funds)
• $100,000,000 – National Park Service Centennial Challenge (signature projects and programs)
• $200,000,000 – U.S. Geological Survey for Surveys, Investigations and Research
• $500,000,000 – Bureau of Indian Affairs, Construction
• $800,000,000 – Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), Hazardous Substance Superfund
• $200,000,000 – EPA, Leaking Underground Storage Tank Trust Fund Program
• $8,400,000,000 – State and Tribal Assistance Grants ($6 bln, Clean Water State Revolving Funds $2 bln, Drinking Water State Revolving Funds; $300 mil, Title VII, Subtitle G, Energy Policy Act of 2005; $100 mil, Comprehensive environmental Response, Compensation and Liability Act of 1980)

Department Of Health And Human Services (HSS)

• $550,000,000 – Indian Health Service
• $2,188,000,000 – Health Resources and Services
• $462,000,000 – Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, Disease Control, Research and Training
• $1,500,000,000 – National Institutes of Health (NIH), National Center for Research Resources
• $1,500,000,000 – NIH, Office of the Director
• $500,000,000 – NIH, Buildings & Facilities
• $700,000,000 – Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality
• $400,000,000 – Discretionary Funds, Secretary of HHS (Tom Daschle won’t have to pay taxes on this)
• $1,000,000,000 – Administration for Children and Families, Low-Income Home Energy Assistance
• $2,000,000,000 – Payments to States for the Child Care and Development Block Grant;
• $3,200,000,000 – Children and Families Services Program
• $200,000,000 – Administration on Aging, Aging Services Programs
• $2,000,000,000 – Office of the National Coordinator for Health Information Technology;
• $900,000,000 – Public Health & Social Services Emergency Fund (three parts for advanced R&D, prepare for influenza pandemic, improve IT at the Department of HHS);
• $3,000,000,000 – HHS Prevention and Wellness Fund

Department Of Education

• $13,000,000,000 – Education for the Disadvantaged
• $100,000,000 – Impact Aid (Title VII of the elementary and Secondary Education Act of 1965)
• $1,000,000,000 – School Improvement Program
• $200,000,000 – Innovation and Improvement
• $13,000,000,000 – Special Education (ref. IDEA, Individuals with Disabilities Education Act)
• $16,126,000,000 – Student Financial Assistance
• $50,000,000 – Student Aid Administration
• $100,000,000 – Higher Education
• $250,000,000 – Institute of Education Sciences
• $14,000,000,000 – School Modernization, Renovation, and Repair
• $6,000,000,000 – Higher Education Modernization, Renovation, and Repair
• $79,000,000,000 – State Fiscal Stabilization Fund

Corporation For National And Community Service

• $160,000,000 – Operating Expenses
• $40,000,000 -  National Service Trust

Social Security Administration

• $900,000,000 – Limitation on Administrative Expenses

Smithsonian Institute

• $150,000,000 – Facilities Capital

National Foundation For The Arts And The Humanities

• $50,000,000 – National Endowment for the Arts

Department Of Labor

• $4,000,000,000 – Employment and Training Administration
• $120,000,000 – Community Service Employment For Older Americans
• $500,000,000 – State Unemployment Insurance and Employment Service Operations
• $80,000,000 – Departmental Management
• $300,000,000 – Office of the Job Corps

Department Of State

• $276,000,000 – Administration of Foreign Affairs, Capital Investment Fund
• $224,000,000 – International Boundary and Water Commission, U.S. and Mexico, Construction

Department Of Transportation

• $3,000,000,000 – Federal Aviation Administration, Grants-in-Aid for Airports
• $30,000,000,000 – Federal Highway Administration, Highway Infrastructure Investment;
• $300,000,000 – Federal Railroad Administration, Capital Assistance for Intercity Passenger Rail Service
• $800,000,000 – Capital and Debt Service Grant to the Railroad Passenger Corporation
• $6,000,000,0000 – Federal Transit Administration, Transit Capital Assistance
• $2,000,000,000 – Fixed Guideway Infrastructure Investment
• $1,000,000,000 – Grants at the discretion of the Secretary of Transportation

Department Of Housing & Urban Development

• $5,000,000,000 – Public & Indian Housing, Public Housing Capital Fund
• $2,500,000,000 – Elderly, Disabled, and Section 8 Assisted Housing, Energy Retrofit
• $500,000,000 – Native American Housing Block Grants
• $1,000,000,000 – Community Planning & Development, Community Development Fund
• $4,190,000,000 – Neighborhood Stabilization Activities; Community Development Fund
• $1,500,000,000 – Home Investment Partnerships Program
• $10,000,000 – Self-Help & Assisted Homeownership Opportunity Program
• $1,500,000,000 – Homeless Assistance Grants
• $100,000,000 – Office of Healthy Homes and Lead Hazard Control, Lead Hazard Reduction

Hope…it’ll work (It won’t). Change…all that’ll be left in our pockets.

By the way, fight the Scheme-ulous Bill here: www.NoStimulus.com

ON EDIT: Via Fausta’s Blog…add another $340 billion to this tasty crap sandwich in interest alone.